"First beaver spotted in New York City in 200 years"
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-02-23-beaver_x.htm
Oh shit. They're backed and they are pissed. I knew it.
As is reported a single beaver, Jose, was seen but I'll tell you what, where you find one beaver you'll find a shit-load of them. An army of pissed off rodents who aren't going to take it any more. Think about it. For years the homely beaver has suffered from the hands of us humans. Poaching, deforestation, the insentient jokes about their disproportioned teeth. They've had enough.
They may seem like harmless wood-chewing balls of fur to you but I've spent time with these vermin and they have a mean steak a mile wide. And they ain't dumb. The report says that Jose was swimming up the Bronx River but no detail was given on what he was actually doing. Least we forget that NYC is an island and that beavers are nature's architects and when you stir in a nice helping of revenge you get one huge damm. Pure chaos. The largest city in the country comes to a screeching halt because an impenetrable wall of mud and sticks has been built around it. Very slick Mr. Beaver. Your assault on New York, the center of America, that is very strategic of you. I can bet you if we were to take a look at the Hudson, or the Potomac we'd see more movement. Perhaps the troops have been rallied as far west as the Mississippi. There is a lot of weight to the statement "Busy as a Beaver."
Nostradamus was right on the money when he predicted that the world would be run by Beavers. Fellow humans it was nice knowing you.
2 comments:
when presented like this, I assume that the current administration has these furry chewbags on some sort of watch list.
I support as beaver uprising... both a literal and a 7th grade humor way.
I'd like to see these beavers shaking up the Big Apple!
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