From Pre-Pay to the PPA

Am I the only one who's noticed that when you pre-pay for gas the pump slows down like 9 minutes too early. I mean come on...seriously. Who's reaction time is this slow? Yesterday I had time to run across the street and help an elderly woman, Evelyn, needlepoint a life size canvas of Wilford Brimley (a special thank you for the Liberty One hook up) deliver it to him at his home in Martha's Vineyard and take the bus back. Funny story actually, the bus I happened to get on was the Montel bus, Partners for Prescription Assistance. Everything worked out great and boy was Evelyn happy when we swung that fat orange coach into her drive. I haven't seen her that high in days. She made me promise I'd help her out with another needlepoint the next time I pre-pay for gas.

A sly lapful of frottage

Recently a coworker of mine and I were playing a game of vocabularic badminton when he scored a 3 pointer with... Frottage.
I had never heard the word before and when I learned the definition it quickly shot into my top 10.
Go ahead look it up I will wait....

I know! The fact that this act has a word to describe it is great, the fact that that word is frottage is even better.
So I implore you to go forth this fine winter weekend and celebrate everything that is "frottage". By showing strangers and loved ones alike the most unabashed display of frotteurism since the white coats came to take Thrustin' Justin from that spaghetti dinner.

adventures in banjositting

The banjo was made by the Kay Company, Chicago, IL. They were in business from 1931 to 1968, mainly making student grade instruments.

Insert Here: That Dog Don't Hunt

The idea behind "Insert Here" is that we will give you a phrase or word and over the next several days you will try and work this word or phrase into your conversation. You will quickly see how rewarding this can be. You may see that others sometimes will react strangely to your choice of words. Fretnot, this is squarely on them.

The second step in this process is you reporting back in the comment section with the happenings of your wordplay shenanigans.

Todays "Insert Here":
That dog don't hunt

for extra points work these phrases into the same conversation:
neither here nor there
might as well take a flying fuck at a rolling donut

Rumors

I sent out an e mail this morning to help settle just one of the popular rumors presented to me on a daily basis. It was brought to my attention that I should post this to PF to help others, who also may be wondering what to watch. So, here it is. I would like to inform you all that, contrary to popular belief, you do not need to watch Busty Cops I before you watch Busty Cops II. You, like me, may have thought that BC II would have picked up right where BC I left off. Not so. They are two completely separate movies. So, if BC II is on, go ahead and watch...and be assured, you haven't missed anything in BC I.

Monkeys and the things they do for fun

I am not a very creative person. Sometimes I pretend I am and dress in an ascot and monocle in my mind. I suppose if I were "really" creative I would wear a
banana-hammock and suspenders. But I digress.

I work for a company that most folks would deem "Creative". We have Art Directors and Copy Writers and our sole product is printed material that when put to match, blazes like the sun. Not sure if that last bit has anything to do with creativity but it sure is pretty to ponder. All day long Muse is fluttering about; having coffee, scolding the printer, necking in the broom closet. It makes for a fun environment.

I am also lucky to have very good friends, who I feel, are very creative. This here blog is a testament to that. But what this intra-fodder does not show you is that their creativity is not limited to this here site. Their cup runith over. Creativity is like B.O. and my friends reek of it.

I am not gushing like a schoolgirl to be boastful. On the contrary. I hope to inspire, like these folks inspire me. So in this new year I resolve to be more "creative". And to wear more banana-hammocks.