Now or never
Covered in chocolate is better



I don't think that Super Monday is getting enough coverage. I heard a whole lot about Super Bowl Sunday and the Television box has really been trying to form my opinions about Super Tuesday, but nobody is talking about today. Super Monday.

It doesn't matter if you are a Democrat or a Republican, for the AFC or the NFC, I encourage everyone to get out today and vote for their favorite football player. Then go home and liberally spread that leftover guacamole about your groinal region, put some sweatpants on, and go ask the neighbor to borrow his snowblower.


The Florida Rockies?

I'm not political. I'm not even apolitical. That said, I tried to find my polling place 4 days prior to Super Tuesday and this is what I found. Just so you know, it says:
File not found: /polling_place/index.cfm
So what you're saying is I can't find my polling place on Jefferson County's website 4 days prior to Super Tuesday? How inconvenient for me the voter.

double EntendrE double

The world in which we live is filled with impatience and gluttony. Every day images of obese children and acts of road rage flash across our TV screens. Our five minute wait in line at the bank is a form of torture. "How dare you keep me from important tasks! Don't those tellers know who I am"!

I find it hard that anyone would disagree with my point. But, for the sake of argument if you do, I present Exhibit A - Cheeseburger in a Can.

When did we become such assholes?

These questions are too big for me, and this blog. Perhaps. But find consolation in the fact that I have seen what could return us to a sedated state. You too have gazed upon its splendor. Of this I know.

A simple device who's origins date back to Africa and can be fashioned by combining ordinary household items; one standard issue comb plus a generous slice of wax paper. A singing membranphone, or kazoo to the lay-person, is a wondrous marriage in which the human voice is in sympathy with a vibrating skin. Sounds kinky.

The modern variant was created by Alabama Vest in the 19th century and manufactured in Macon Georgia to Vest's specifications by German clockmaker Thaddeus von Clegg. Long before Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson this pair made beautiful music together. The low guttural buzz of the glorious kazoo. So simple. So elegant. Like Om, the primordial sound from which the whole universe was created kazoo's harmonious buzz is the perfect mantra of the modern day.

So firmly grasp the shaft, gently place it to your lips and blow. All your troubles away.


As a general rule, I find you about as funny as cancer.

Although I will say that your hair has possessed a healthy sheen and lively bounce as of late.

Pulverized placenta you say? I might try it myself...

Really? Peruvian? Alpaca? How exotic.

ying yang

What is my idea of earthly happiness?
A photo of a man wearing a 3 piece suit and necktie. Instead of pants, his lower body is clad solely in boxer shorts and dark socks held up by calf suspenders (perhaps the lack of pants makes it a 2 piece suit?). He is pushing a lawnmower through the woods. Obviously, there is no grass in sight. The caption reads “Somerville Amateur Literary Society”.

What do I regard as the lowest depth of misery?
The man in the photo has a single tear running down one cheek. The right one. His right, my left.