Confession: "I choked a bitch"

I too have a confession to make.

When I'm in my basement making love (usually alone) I often am the host of my own fucking show inside my head. I recite to the "audience" the proper way to thrust and parry. The segments generally last between 15 and 30 seconds and are "taped" for a global internet audience. Reality and the occasoinal-paid-for-sex-worker provide the laugh track.

Usually I can refrain from squeezing or biting when I'm "hosting" my show. Last night however, as I "prepared my meal" I went to add a dash of some excitement and accidentally "choked the bitch."

Now I'm being sued.