A Peel to the Masses

It has come to my attention by way of telepathic door-knocking that in order to acheive the slippery insertion of Fiasco! doctorine into the vagina of nerd culture we must encourage public participation. The logic is as follows:

1. Would the baseball player have baseballed had he/she not been invited to join the team?
2. Would the janitor have janitored had his friend not beckoned him one day to "look at that big piece of shit floating in there"?
3. Would the world's number one ranked boxing poet have changed the lyrics of John Lennon's Imagine where "Imagine all the people/Living life in peace", became "Imagine all the peepholes/In Elton John's house" had he not been exposed to mind altering chemicals and group-oriented tomfoolery?

So I invite you the reader, be you friend or foe, to join us.

Your assignment:
- Describe a character (fictional or real, no ligers please).
- Explain how that character would respond when asked, "What is a Texas Teddy Bear?"

And the world will live as one.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What is a Texas Teddy Bear?

Funny you should ask. My friend Oscar from the Philippians just commented the other day how he was hoping to get one this coming Arbor Day. Although for most, Arbor Day means trees, he and I think of friendship, companionship, and commitment. You see, he and I meet back on Arbor Day of 1996 on a pontoon boat on Sylvan Lake. I was sipping a Mimosa, he White wine. A mutual friend of ours, Barry, was celebrating the recent acquisition of a Bichon Frisé bitch he named Chardonnay.

Anyway Barry invited us in the hopes that we would hit it off. You see Barry is one of those people, who thinks they have a natural gift as a matchmaker. I beg to differ, but that is another conversation all together.

Being Arbor Day I brought little Chardonnay and Barry a gift, a tiny bonsai tree. As fate would have it Oscar brought the same gift. We all had a good laugh about it and he and I hit it off immediately.

A group of us had a small luncheon on the shore with this wonderful salmon pâté, which I really must get the recipe for, and then headed out for a stroll around the lake.

This was Oscars first time on a boat so he was a tad peak-ed. Growing up on the waters of Lake Michigan I saw his discomfort and being the kindly soul that I am I offered to return to shore with him.

Well, let me tell you this time alone was exactly what his doctor ordered. Looking back I realized this was all a ruse to get me alone. But if that was a crime I was glad to have played the victim.

Now, I am not one to kiss and tell, so I will just say that for a Pilipino Oscar is a very hairy man and he once spent time in a prison for transporting illegals in the small Texas city of Van Horn.

Ask me again what a Texas Teddy Bear is.