Don't Knock It

I’ve never tried eating pickles and peanut-butter, or jumping from a three story building into a glass filled dumpster, or even speeding through a red light with my hands over my eyes. But I know with almost complete certainty that I won’t like doing them. I say “almost” because the speeding through the red light thing could really get the heart racing, and sometimes I can use a shot of adrenaline like that to wake me from this mundane existence I call a life...but anyhoo, I digress.
My point is the phrase “don’t knock it ‘til you try it” should really be reserved for those things in life that are universally considered pleasures…like sunlight. There are a good many things I can freely knock in this world without trying…like the Bee Gees for example, or trying to eat the cream part of an Oreo last. Some things you just look at and say “man, that’s stupid,” like the Church of Scientology or the George W. administration. Not everyone has a taste for being blindly led into the nearest apocalypse.
So in the future, I implore you, when someone says “don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” remove their tongue with the nearest set of vise grips and soak it in water for thirty to forty minutes.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What is a Texas Teddy Bear?

Funny you should ask. My friend Oscar from the Philippians just commented the other day how he was hoping to get one this coming Arbor Day. Although for most, Arbor Day means trees, he and I think of friendship, companionship, and commitment. You see, he and I meet back on Arbor Day of 1996 on a pontoon boat on Sylvan Lake. I was sipping a Mimosa, he White wine. A mutual friend of ours, Barry, was celebrating the recent acquisition of a Bichon Frisé bitch he named Chardonnay.

Anyway Barry invited us in the hopes that we would hit it off. You see Barry is one of those people, who thinks they have a natural gift as a matchmaker. I beg to differ, but that is another conversation all together.

Being Arbor Day I brought little Chardonnay and Barry a gift, a tiny bonsai tree. As fate would have it Oscar brought the same gift. We all had a good laugh about it and he and I hit it off immediately.

A group of us had a small luncheon on the shore with this wonderful salmon pâté, which I really must get the recipe for, and then headed out for a stroll around the lake.

This was Oscars first time on a boat so he was a tad peak-ed. Growing up on the waters of Lake Michigan I saw his discomfort and being the kindly soul that I am I offered to return to shore with him.

Well, let me tell you this time alone was exactly what his doctor ordered. Looking back I realized this was all a ruse to get me alone. But if that was a crime I was glad to have played the victim.

Now, I am not one to kiss and tell, so I will just say that for a Pilipino Oscar is a very hairy man and he once spent time in a prison for transporting illegals in the small Texas city of Van Horn.

Ask me again what a Texas Teddy Bear is.