12.27.2006

Double Move.

Ok, so I have been trying to suppress this, but I can't. I used to be a big fan of professional football. There was nothing more I enjoyed more than spending a hungover sunday on the couch watching 8 hours of the pigskin ballet. I had a spell where I even entertained the notion of buying myself a referees jersey, luckily that passed.

Like I said, I used to be a big fan. My fandom diminished when my viewing was filtered through the multi-headed beast that is fantasy football. In my haste to prove my website changing prowess over my friends, the game changed. I was watching the ticker on the bottom of the screen more than the game... slowly it poisoned the game... but this is all here nor there, I didn't come here today to open a forum on the goods and evils of fantasy sports... or any of your fantasys for that matter.

What I need to vent today is this. THE FUCKING "DOUBLE MOVE"!

Ok, I don't know how much you watch football on television. Like I said above, I don't watch as much as I used to, and I by no means proclaim to be an expert. But I am pretty damn sure that the phrase "double move" was invented sometime early this season.... And since then, no wide receiver anywhere has done anything but a "double move"! It drives me absolutely insane. From where I am sitting nothing has changed as far as the wide receivers routes, it is just that Johnny Thickneck (ret.) in the booth now deems every damn route a "double move".

So the "double move" (as I understand it), is any time a WR makes one move, which last years was just part of the route, and then makes another move (hence the "double")...

This whole phrase creating this is nothing new, you may remember that the "red zone" was invented about a decade ago, and really brought front and center by the new cutting edge graphics of todays telecasts! I swear to god Eric Hipple would roll over in his grave!

I just wanted to share this with you, because it really is about the most annoying thing going... I hope it irritates you as much as it irritates me, because I can't endure this alone...

I wonder if there was a league wide memo? Because I really can't explain it, not since the "is that your final answer" craze of 02 have I seen a catch phrase catch on so quickly.... Which reminds me, I just want to tell all my friends up front that if I see you with a tshirt or a coolie that said "double move" on it, I am going to do a "double move" on you... Steal one of your shoes and hide your keys...

Go Lions!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Seams, creases, cuts, flashes, etc...All I know is when I played football on the playground it was called "juking" someone. Little did I know I had the chops to play football for a living. Double-moving myself all over Washington Carver Elementary School playground, I was.

I suggest finding John Madden's telecast, muting it, putting on GnR's Appetite for Destruction, and sipping dark alcohol out of a silver plated flask you no doubt have received from some wedding party. That should help - plus, it drowns out the kids and their damn Dora videos.