Up with the ramp!

I too am weary of the staircase. I fully support all efforts to promote the gradual ascent. I have been pro-ramp for several years now.

Below you will find a log of all the times I have fallen down the stairs since I turned 30. I fully expect this list to be an important document in the effort to transform America into a ramped nation. I encourage others to start their own stair mishap journal and for god's sake, slow down on the stairs!

A log of times I have fallen down the stairs since age 30.

The Cain house (3108 Woodslee Dr., Royal Oak, MI)

I had just got to cain’s house for the annual Christmas party/ meatball eating competition. He has some stairs at his back door leading into the basement, I took 2 steps down the stairs and it happened. My feet flew out from under me and I rode my ass down the stairs. Luckily this time I had on a backpack and was carrying two guitars. One guitar I gracefully saved by calmly placing on a top stair. The other guitar bore the brunt of the crash, but was no worse for the wear. The backpack saved my ass, literally. It absorbed most of the tumble. Leaving me with little more than some stinging fingertips and a bruised ego. As with most falls down stairs I was completely thrown into a state of disbelief and confusion. I survived and that very night witnessed the most intense display of meatball eating I have yet to see.

Pain Factor: 3 (out of a possible 10)
Embarrassment Factor: 1
Overall Fall: 4

My house (1434 N. Greenview, Chicago, IL)

I was rushing to leave town for the weekend. I was carrying (once again) my guitar in one hand and some books in the other and I had my backpack on. The stairs in our house going from the first floor to the second curve around in a “J” as some stairs do. The way they are set up the inside of these stairs get very narrow. In my hurrying, I misjudged the width of the stairs and down I came, about 8 stairs from the bottom. Again the backpack absorbed most of the damage. This time books went flying and my elbow was smashed. Again, the whole event threw me for a loop, and made me really uncomfortable, mentally. It is kinda like a reboot of your whole system. This episode has me convinced that I will more than likely meet my end as a result of an untimely stair falling. It’s only a matter of time.

Pain Factor: 4.5
Embarrassment Factor: 2
Overall Fall: 5.5


Jhaf76 said...

Very peculiar...I fell down the stairs just 2 days ago...less than a month after my 30th birthday.....
It was horrible...I bit it only 3 stairs from the bottom but was it bad!! Carrying my baby girl and wearing a pair of my favorite socks (not recommended on newly finished wood stairs)... it happened so fast I am not sure I can reinact the terrible fall. I definitely took the brunt, it may have been motherly instinct or supernatural forces that saved Anna, I think she laughed afterwards as she is one for a thrill. But, the bruises I have to show are the only evidence that this fall was real...I took photos of my knee if anyone is questioning the validitity of me posting this comment, or to use as evidence against my husband if he ever does anything to double-cross me. I am all for more ramps across the globe, or have you ever seen the motorized chairs that go up and down the stairs? Take the elevator!

Pain Factor: 8 & still feeing it
Embarassment Factor: 2
Overall Fall: 7.5

w.j. DeBalt said...


I am glad that you managed to save the young one. Her generation will be the one to reap the fruit of out anti-stair struggles. With a little luck she will never know the awkwardness of thinking there is one more stair and stepping only to find there is none.

yes, I know the chair on the rail... it has been a dream of mine for quite some time. It is on the list, right behind adjustable toilets.