When I am rich

When I am rich I am going to have a bathroom with a toilet that has a mechanism that randomly adjusts the height to be different every time you use it. Not by much only a couple of inches. I am not sure how the whole thing will work, but I will be rich so I will pay someone to figure that out. I think that when you are about to sit on the toilet you are pretty much as vulnerable as you are going to get. So when you go to sit down and the toilet is about 1.57 inches lower than you expect it to be, that is funny to me. And it should be funny to you too, because if you can't laugh at yourself and your toilet misjudgings, than you really have some growing to do. Hopefully my sneaky toilet will help you with that.

I also want secret passages in my house. Nothing funny about that.


Jaybird Ruettiger said...

sweet man.....i always wanted secret passageways in my house when i "grew" up....still do, glad to see i'm not the only one....i think it was cause i watched the Gummi Bears, and Webster, and me and my parents visited some mansion being built once in Sarasota and the people that owned it showed me where these secret passages and hidden room were gonna be....

Devildog Wrapper said...

Come on out to suburban Chicago, my friend, and I have wonders to show you. Sneaky toilets are only the beginning (mine flushes whenever it wants to - a miracle, I'm sure - I think I saw the Virgin Mary in the swirls once). You only need to look in houses built nearly 3/4 of a century ago to find the things you seek - ripping up the basement floor recently, I found what appears to be a full dollhouse buried, with a full family of dolls posed in various "naughty" positions. What in the world would cause a previous owner of this dump to do such a thing?

No Virgin Mary sighting, there, though.

Perhaps I'll have a talk with my fully independent toilet to see if it can arrange some sneaky height alterations - if successful, I will notify you immediately, of course.