Letters: Otter Pops

To whom it may concern,

I was happy to learn that Otter Pops were once again available, as they were a favorite treat of mine growing up. Upon discovering their reintroduction into the frozen arena I immediately ordered two cases from your website. One for me and one for a friend who shares my nostalgic love of frozen water and sugar. Hers was a surprise, a Christmas present in fact. I eagerly awaited their arrival.

Finally the day came, after 6 weeks of waiting due to a "back order" problem. Nevertheless, when the Christmas present came, in late January, I was still excited and couldn't wait to give it to her. I rushed to her house and presented her with the box-o-fun. We quickly opened it and threw some in the freezer. It was then when the lies started to expose themselves. We noticed that the old individual packaging with the likes of Alexander the Grape, Strawberry Short Kook, and Sir Issac Lime had been replaced by a boilerplate packaging design. The wonder of the Otter Pops of years past was the indivuality of each character/flavor, I remember nearly coming to blows with my brother because I wanted the last Alexander the Grape. Now a whole generation of brothers will be fighting over the "purple one." Real stimulating, you are really doing your part to nurture the creative minds of the youth. You deserve a medal, only it won't be a medal, it will be a button and we won't actually give it to you but we will photocopy it and tape it to your shirt. We will tell you it's a medal though and you will eat it up.

Our dismay over the packaging was quite a letdown, but we were still willing to accept that the winds of change had blown the Otter Pops towards cheapskateville. After waiting for an hour or so, it was time to taste a bit of our frozen youth. We joyfully chose the Popsicle of our fancy— mine purple, hers green. What happened next was nothing less than despicable! The treats that we so yearned for were not our delicious friends from the past, but simply Flavor-ice in sheep's clothing. This was no longer the delicous frozen treat that we once loved it was different, but familar. It was Flavor-Ice! Imagine our dismay. Not only have you taken away the individuals who ruled over the Popsicle kingdom you have bulldozed that kingdom and put up a strip mall, and there is both a Starbucks and a Blockbuster in this strip mall.

My dear frozen water and sugar conglomerate, I hope that your profits are way up, but I also hope you realize that in cutting your corners you are depriving a whole generation of the things that MADE Otter Pops. Anyone can put some water in a plastic tube and you are certainly proving that. Otter Pops used to have personality. Now, they aren't even worthy of the name, so I implore you to give up the charade. If you are going to sell these Otter Pops, don't waste our time, just call them Flavor-Ice and save the lies for the Republican party.

Regards,