5.02.2008

Clubs Trump


Some jackasses are building a machine that could accidentally unleash mini-black holes on your neighborhood.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23844529/

If it were me, I'd rather not have mini-black holes unleashed on my neighborhood. If God were to come clean today and tell me, all black hole opinions aside, that the world must endure a mini catastrophic event to fulfill some divine scripture or something, I would certainly lobby against the mini-black holes. No matter what the consequences.

Of course old God could trump me up by suggesting eerier alternatives. And crooked smilingly force me to choose from these alternatives a new fate for Earth. You know, the "choose wisely my son" routine. I'd rise to the occasion, in fulfillment of some milder scripture. A second rate scripture perhaps. But one sans mini-black holes.

Fellow Earthlings, I would ensure our cosmic prevalence by choosing one of these alternatives:

- Mini butt rapings by mini prison guards
- Mini eye gougings by three mini stooges
- Mini bowl cuts by mini second rate female hair stylists
- Mini herpes infections spread by mini non-disclosing rural high school aged queens of the "outdoor party"
- Mini white holes

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