4.02.2007

Sucks to the rules!

Debalt and Huffer were a couple working stiffs, inexplicably cohabiting with a pair of twin mannequins just outside the eternal city. From the composite I’ve rendered, this harum-scarum foursome was little more than a hungry wolf pack, who would stalk their prey and interpose their will in a manner less than diplomatic.
One sunny afternoon, I was minding my own business watching the girl’s gymnastics team (undress) practice for the upcoming event. I was feeling rather parched so I headed into the hall when I saw this hottie apparently waiting for the bus. Well before you know it I had dry-docked her beneath the bleachers. I sort of had to stoop ball though because she was pretty short, but she was awfully docile. We had a couple rolls so things heated up quickly. Well, anyway I was really giving her the old rasher, you know, the big cypress. And believe me, she was singing heroic verse. We were having such a good time, neither of us even considered the noise factor. Just then, in walks the wolf pack looking all solemn saying “just be patient young ones” and “practice vigilance” and a bunch of other crap that just really ruined the moment. I was immediately like “I decree this day wolf pack asshole day” and started putting back on the clothes I’d doffed.
It turned out not to matter much anyway, the first of our offspring was born just nine months later. Now we’ve got two boys ages five and ten. The big one we call Manual, because we learned how to raise him straight out of a book, like a new baby owner’s manual. The youngster’s named Turret for the way his head was shaped when he was born. Anyway we love ‘em to death, but I’ve sworn to the Penates that soon, when that four hundred day clock chimes, Manual and Turret will find this wolf pack, steal the mannequins and do something REALLY offensive. You’ve been warned!

3 comments:

kentucky smooth said...

I should let it be known that Docile Diplomat is the only one of these three stories that obeys the rules outlined in our Peripheral writing assignment. The other two are just the fiasco that followed.

E.L. Huffer said...

Docile Diplomat is good. Sucks to the Rules is real good. This was harder than anticipated. Glad to see the crystal-clear-Colorado-culture hasn't clogged your mental capacities.

Mardi Gras said...

What was the Peripheral writing assignment?