Mother Nature Is A Whore!

Recently considerable attention has been given to Global Warming concerning its effect on the arctic ice caps and subsequently the polar bear habitat and population. In contrast much of the country is currently feeling the effects of yet another El Nino, defined as sustained sea surface temperature anomalies, which is reeking havoc across the central and southern U.S. with increased precipitation and a decline in average temps.

It occurred to me the other day while watching an old Chris Farley sketch on SNL that El Nino actually translates into English as “the child.” And while society generally bestows both blame and praise for the weather on “Mother Nature,” Global Warming must simply be the slutty older sister trying to make her mark on the world, having grown tired of her actress/waitress endeavors.

While it is true that kids will be kids, in my opinion, Mother Nature should do more to control this adolescent rebellion. Perhaps if she spent more time at home rather than gallivanting around the countryside in those pointy shoes. I think what this situation really needs is a swift boot in the ass from Father Time.