Different Strokes For Different Folks

In lieu of bathing, I roll in toast.
Perhaps it’s a tougher choice for most
But a tepid pool of one’s own grime
I’m sorry, that just sounds less than sublime.

Now a running shower may get some by,
But it seems to make my skin less dry.
So I’ll toast off a loaf and line it across the floor
And leave for work smelling like buttery goodness once more.