All Tomatoes Aside

Dear Fiasco Family,

My last post ("A Critique of Tomatoes", 4/20/06), in which I described one of my recent and many profound spiritual experiences, has caused unrest at the Peripheral Fiasco home office in Snowflake, Arizona. The executives have asked me to release a "more appropriate and less religious" post that "follows format, you know like Mr. Rogers".

My counterparts at the Fiasco! Factory have been silenced by our lawyers and are unable to publicly discuss this blatent act of censorship. At this morning's private teleconference we unanimously decided for the benefit of our younger fans it is best if I just comply. So, in the interest of the children I offer you this instead:

My agent thinks this poem is the most important politicol work I've ever done. She says it really tugs at the essence of the State of Michigan's swimmer's itch eradication program.

Fiasco Mash

Superduck, oh fowel from space
Project me to to a happy place
For a minute or two, reimbursed by you
For a missing disc of turkey

Superduck, oh wise and bright
Return me to a former night
Of nerds and words spelled with similar letters
Of tittilating avian bedtime stories

Superduck, the sky is yours
So migrate the day away
I won't disturb you, nay nay nay
Unless I feel the need to use the word "chum baron" in a sentence

Thomas Jefferson was a real chum baron
When he heard the news of George Washington
And his victory in the dollar bill face contest

Want to bring an end to the use of "chum baron" in sentences? Join the crusade at:

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