The orthoepist wore earmuffs

The orthoepist wore earmuffs, which he earned helping the elderly after the earthquake. He was eager to show them off so he headed eastward. He was an eccentric young man, egotistical and egregious at nearly all of his endeavors. Yet evangelism he found effortless for he was quite educated about it and equally enthusiastic. He envisioned an army of evangelists in earmuffs, free of emolument, eventually able to evoke an evolution of either the egg-headed or evil-minded. But by Easter Sunday his enjoyment with evangelism had evaporated. He eyed a more easy-going employment in erotica. He was envious of hookers, or so it says on his epitaph.