3.13.2006

Fear is a Method

Big words are hardly enough to pull yourself out of a paranoid anxiety attack. That's why all of the paranoid people I know choose small words. Like: Ping, Wiff, Jet, Dent. There is simplicity in small words; a primal function of size that was treasured by all of the prominent ancient civilizations. The Egyptians refused to sacrifice babies with long, complicated names. The Druids at first were known as the Ids, until they changed their monosyllabic name to more closely resemble that of the powerful High Priest Drubansen. He single-handedly defeated King Long Eye and ended the War of the Ten Islands. The Mayans had only one word, and it was "Bub". Bub was given to them by the Martians, for language greatly depressed the Martians. They lived in fear that language would undermine the essence of Martian creed. And it did, or that's what they were afraid of.

1 comment:

w.j. DeBalt said...

So, If I am understanding you correctly to a Mayan the word "bub" is a synonym for both of the following phrases, "my bathtub is overflowing with filth," and "I just shingled that roof last month." ?

this is both an interesting development in my ever expanding vocabulary, and the answer to 14 down in sunday's crossword puzzle.

Bub to you o' wisenhymer!