the kirbys

The Kirby salesperson stopped by today. Goddamn pink slips and an entourage of wares. A demonstration? Clean a room? Why not? Get down on it. I'll settle into a low-end rye while you paw around on all fours and assemble...
One assembly and 3 hours later, a $1600 vacuum seemed like the only way I could make the Reginalds across the street proud. I mean, look at Al Gore now. Won the popular vote of a U.S. presidential election. Given an Oscar. Received a Nobel Peace Prize. His neighbors must have a 22-hour erection for him. (Al rested on the 23rd and 24th hour). He invented the freakin' internet for crying out loud.
For crying out loud, come back to me. Can't you see I cannot breathe?
Truly, Deeply,
H