5.25.2009

Born in The W.T.F













Don't let freedom fool you
There is no price to pay
What you see is what you get
Guaranteed the same each day

All the propaganda aimed
At cheapening the goods
Is ludicrous, amateur
Not misunderstood

But compared to other places where
Humpers reproduce
Nothing hardly quite compares
With red, white, blue and Bruce.

4.22.2009

At every bar
on streets
and on corners
all over Detroit

Where smoke rises
gin quenches
draft beer flows
and lies do too

Patrons educated
in ways of the world
discuss life's
all important issues

The Big Three
Recession
Race Relations
Suburbs vs. City

Holy shit...
give it a rest.

3.20.2009

A Long Drive Through Aztlan


Should you drive to an alien convention perhaps you'll do well
To roll past the Spaceport north of Las Cruces
And the old Civil War era watering hole
Where wooden crosses poked holes in thirsty dead travelers
Rewarding their aimless journeys from Durango City Mexico.

And float across White Sands to the military checkpoint where
Dusty soldiers stop
Every highway traveler.

And climb through the Lincoln National Forest where Bob Dylan's Desire
Plays somehow better.
Or detour through the Gila National Forest where Smokey the first Bear was born
And so was Geronimo at the headwaters of the Gila River.

3.14.2009

medicated

The soufflees are a bit lighter these days.
The sass is a little less sassier. Actually, quite a bit less, truth be told.
In fact conversation in general has seen quite a drop off.
Yep, she's one well-medicated lass, roaming the rooms of our house, haunting them like a pale, sallow spector.
As you can see, she still casts quite a spell in the kitchen.
So I've got that going for me.
Which is nice.

3.03.2009

Top That

How? That is what I've asked myself each time I have visited this here Blog hoping each time that I wasn't the first poster in '09. But I suppose the saying is true: with a great title comes great responsibility. So it is up to me. But what runs through my mind for the first post of 2009? It isn't of the approaching Spring, or of baseball season, or cuttlefish; no my mind is 8 months ahead. What should I shave into the back of my skull this year? A full beard? Or is shaving fascial hair in the back of one's head so 2008?

It's hard to say how inspiration works. The idea of the head-stache came many months before the fated Cainmas. Like a fetus, it had time to incubate inside my mellon for some time until that winter evening at my sister-in-laws, where through electric shears the stache entered this world.

Perhaps I have it all wrong. It might be that I can not top the splendor that was the head-stache. If Cainmas has taught me nothing in the many years of its existence it's that I am not one built for one-up-man-ship. The infamous meatball eating contest of several years ago that spawned the even more infamous meatball meltdown the following year is a prime example. The winning tally of 50 at the original meat-off is held by our very own Mardi Gras. (A tip of the hat to you my friend)

The following year my attempts to beat said record of 50 resulted in me puking early in the evening just shy of the goal line. Instead of enjoying that party and all its goers I was losing the contents of my tummy in the downstairs bathroom. And so it goes.

So instead I have decided to spend this year reveling in my title as Mister Mustache. I will spend my time extolling the virtues of the stache and spreading word far and wide of its majesty, awaiting this years Cainmas where one of the party-goers is sure to top it. Of this I am sure.

1.06.2009

Mr. Mustache 2008





A big round of applause as our own Fathand has recently been named Mr. Mustache 2008.

This award is given by the Flint area Chamber of Commerce and Fiasco Inc. to the person who does the most as an ambassador for the mustache. Fathand received this award for his recent showing at this years Cainmas, where he came dressed to the nines with a mustache beautifully sculpted in the back of his head.

Genius isn't a word I use a lot.

Here's to you Fathand! On behalf of friends of the mustache everywhere, thank you and keep up the good work.

More Cainmas photos here

Until next year, Merry Mustache everyone!

12.23.2008

Christmas Vacation viewing standings - week 4 (graphless)

Week 4 (Dec. 15-22 2008)
DeBalt - 14
MGD - 10
Tom - 6
Huffer - 4
SmithJ - 2
-------------- (the line of shame)-----------------
Fathand - na
Kentucky Smooth - na
Cain - na

12.10.2008

Challenge Maternal

Views of your mom walking pantsless through the vaseline jungle today: 1
Views of your mom in vaseline context to date: 344

Challenge Diverted

Views of squirrels I saw in Sarina yesterday: 8
Views to date of squirrels I saw in Sarina yesterday: 8

Christmas Vacation veiwing Standings

Zip. Nada. Nothing. Big fat zero.

12.07.2008

challenge accepted

Views today: 1
Views to date: 4

12.06.2008

challenge accepted

Views today: 1
Views to date: 3

12.03.2008

Economy Afrowig

12.02.2008

Dec. 02

Behold the wicked invigoration,
of a cold toilet seat
on an early December morning.
For that is what is it to be alive.
To be aware.

11.28.2008

challenge accepted















Views today: 2
Views to date: 2

11.15.2008

Jurassic Lincoln



"After I shag this would-be hippy chick dinosaur dinner
I'm gonna save them black folks from slavery."

11.11.2008

I'm EXCITED.

I'm having meatloaf tonight.



No, not that meatloaf. This loaf.